Zazen day 24 – homestretch

My reports are at least a day behind, as I’ve been sitting before bed for about 10 days. I think it’s probably more beneficial to do earlier in the day, in the afternoon before I start writing…or, before I intend to write. In tackling some stuff head on the past week, I’ve let the writing lag but I also started another project right before the lag, so I’m choosing to be somewhat proud of myself.

Finishing seems to be the problem I’ve had since the spring. A project that was supposed to be completed months ago I’m just nearing the homestretch in now — which is dovetailing nicely with this project. I asked my boyfriend (whose suggested 28 Days of Zazen* to me in the first place) if he expected I would stick with the program and he said no. I appreciated the honesty; I didn’t think I’d go all 28 days. Tonight’s sit will be 25, and I’m choosing to be proud of myself.

I do wish I stuck to the program regarding the blog. It would be nice to have more of a record of each day’s progress, but I do think I plateaued a bit where the gaps are. That’s not a bad thing, it means I just need to change something up slightly – add a few more minutes to the routine or, ideally, start sitting twice a day. Sitting at night helps me relax and fall asleep but it also feels a bit like a mind-dump – whatever I’ve pushed aside that day flows forth during the sit, which defeats the purpose. I think when the 28 days are up, I’ll attempt to sit twice. I do want to keep this up here and there, to mark progress as the trial period becomes a true routine.

The Super Bowl is this weekend…..I don’t care. I’ve only been to one Super Bowl party (that I can recall) and it was weird, to say the least. I like sports a lot, though football’s not my favorite, so I like watching the game just fine. I find it odd that it’s such a cultural event. Because I love hockey so much, I’ll watch pretty much any playoff game, but I won’t feel invested in it as much as if my team was playing. Maybe hockey isn’t quite analogous because the Finals are a 7-game series and not winner-take-all-win-or-go-home. (Don’t you also go home if you win…Win and go home?) I mean, I sorta live-tweeted it last year. We had come to look for an apartment over the first weekend in February. We were staying a few blocks over from where we eventually ended up living, in an Airbnb owned by a film composer with a pithy name. Every time I pass Berendo, I say his name in my head (it’s very similar to Steve Holt). The apartment we live in was only the 3rd or 4th we had seen. Looking for a place in LA is different than NY; there are more options, you don’t feel like you’re speed dating with a bunch of rabid ferrets. We got lucky for sure, so we ended up spending Super Bowl night watching a live feed without commercials and intersticials and then ate tacos. It was pretty sweet.

Which means I’ve been in LA almost a year which is…insane.

Best Online Thing I Read Today: Double Agents in Love by Lorrie Moore / NY Review of Books

Song I loved today: And This is What We Call Progress / The Besnard Lakes

*Sometimes I want to write that as (28) Days of Zazen…a mindful romantic comedy sequel to 28 Days Later.


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